I got a trial subscription! Yay! I'm so excited ^^ This is exciting! How much does an actual subscription cost? >.> I want to buy one now. I shall add more poems soon. Yay! Because all drawn art that I have just... isn't! Woohoo! And I shall also add pictures to my scraps ^^ Along with some good pictures to my gallery Yay!

This is the part where I totally apologize for ranting >.> Yeah.

I hate my life. This shit isn't fucking worth living. You're right Grayden, it's not worthwhile. There is no point. IT SUCKS. I've been going through some hard times recently and I've been keeping it in. Now Mom's screaming at me and making things worse. Now I don't know who I can rely on and who I can't. Now I don't know who I can confide in. I hate this. No, I'm not suicidal. Yes, I wish I was never born. I'm not happy with almost anything in my life. There are those few people who are keeping me on the edge of sanity, but it seems that I just can't even talk to those people. Life isn't working out. It's not just one thing that's keeping me so depressed. It's a combination of so many things. So, if you're one of that group of people who thinks my mom is causing all my problems because of how she treats me, you're wrong. Actully, the people who say she's the one causing them are also adding to my stress.
I hate this feeling.
I want to pull my hair out. I want to hit something. I want to do things that I shouldn't do, and I have just enough willpower to prevent myself from doing these things. I wonder when this willpower is going to run out.
Mom is trying to get me into foster care again. I hate life at home. And life at school, it's ok sometimes. But then I get to those times where I realize I'm probably not going to know these people when I'm older. Then I wish that highschool would last forever. Then I realize that if it does, Mom's going to live with me forever.
I don't know what I want anymore. I'm so sick of this

A boy walked into a cd store
and saw a girl behind the counter.

She smiled and he thought it was the most
beautiful smile he has ever seen before and
wanted to kiss her right there.

He said "Uh... Yeah... Umm... I would like to
buy a CD." He picked one out and gave her
money for it.

"Would you like me to wrap it for you?" she
asked, smiling her cute smile again.

He nodded and she went to the back.

She came back with the wrapped CD and
gave it to him. He took it and walked out of the store.
He went home and from then on, he went to
that store everyday and bought a CD, and she
wrapped it for him. He took the CD home
and put it in his closet. He was still too shy to ask her out
and he really wanted to but he couldn't. His
mother found out about this and told him to
just ask her.

So the next day, he took all his courage and
went to the store. He bought a CD like he did
everyday and once again she went to the
back of the store and came back with it
wrapped. He took it and when she wasn't looking, he left his
phone number on the desk and ran out...

!!!RRRRRING!!!

The mother picked up the phone and
said, "Hello?"

It was the girl !!! She asked for the boy and
the mother started to cry and said, "You don't
know? He passed away yesterday...

" The line was quiet except for the cries of
the boy's mother. Later in the day. The mother
went into the boy's room because she
wanted to remember him. She thought she
would start
by looking at his clothes. So she opened the
closet. She was face to face with piles and
piles and piles of unopened CDs. She was
surprised to find all those CDs and she
picked one up and sat down on the bed and she
started to open one.

Inside, there was a CD and as she took it out
of the wrapper, out fell a piece of paper. The
mother picked it up and started to read it.

It said: Hi... I think you are really cute. Do you
wanna go out with me? Love,Jacelyn

The mother opened another CD...

Again there was a piece of paper. It said:
Hi... I think you are really cute. Do you wanna go out
with me? Love, Jacelyn

Love is... when you've had a huge fight but
then decide to put aside your egos, hold
hands and say, "I Love You"

I think that I will use this AND my livejournal o.o yay! So yeah, today was ok... I dunno >.< I reeeeeally don't want to go to Pensylvania... I have to call my dad about that in 20 mins... I hope he doesn't hate me or cry or be weird... He's going to be so disappointed >.< Yeah, and I've decided to use my gallery for.... poetry!!! Which is all going to SUCK >.< I'll post my old poems from like 6th grade and you can all laugh at them... Sad v.v
~Emily